Back to the beginning of swinging.
In the fifties the mass media referred to it as “wife-swapping.” Today it’s named “swinging,” but anyway of its name this sexual performance seems to be increasing in popularity among typical, middle-aged married couples in the US. The popular media are paying increasing interest to the fact, often putting a encouraging spin on the effects which the lifestyle has upon marriages. The North American Swing Club Association (NASCA) claims there are organized swing clubs in about all states as well as Canada, England, Germany, and Japan. These clubs are profitable businesses which provide all levels of social activities for swingers including vacation plans, special holiday sites for swingers, and yearly conferences and seminars. Lifestyles, Inc., a swingers travel bureau, booked 700 couples at a resort in Jamaica in January of 1998.
What precisely is swinging? Not like “open marriages” of the 1970’s which promoted non-possessive love and broadmindedness of betrayal in their spouses, or “polyamory” - the love of numerous people at once – swinging is non-monogamous sexual activity, treated a lot like any other social activity, that can be practiced as a pair. Emotional monogamy, or dedication to the love relationship with one’s marital partner, remains the principal focus. Swinging is typically done in the company of one’s spouse and requires the involvement of both to the practice. Although swingers often become close friends with other swinging couples, there are rules restricting emotional involvement with non-spousal partners. While swinging involves having sex with people other than one’s spouse, its followers claim that it enhances the relationship of the swinging couple both sexually and emotionally. By removing the secrecy and untruthfulness inherent in one’s natural wishes for sexual variety, the couple can explore their fantasies mutually without dishonesty or shame. By removing the need for cheating from the relationship, a new height of reliance and sincerity about all of one’s feelings is apparently achieved without the harsh baggage of envy.
Swinging as an alternative lifestyle is of both practical and academic importance because the challenge to mix sexual non-monogamy with emotional monogamy is fundamentally “abnormal” from the western model of romantic love which assumes that sexual and emotional monogamy are mutually reinforcing and inseparable. It has yet to be demonstrated empirically whether this alternative lifestyle really strengthens or weakens marital bonds, but in an era where 36% of husbands and 29% of wives, sometimes so-called milfs admit to having had at least one extra-marital affair, where divorce rates for first marriages are approaching 59%, and where family instability and parental neglect of children has become a main national worry, any effort to redefine “love” and reinforce the marital relationship is worthy of our interest. If swingers have found a way to stabilize relationships, extend family ties, and enrich the lives of couples we would be remiss if we did not take their lifestyle and their redefinition of monogamous love seriously.
It is concluded that swingers surveyed are the white, middle-class, middle-aged, church-going segment of the population reported in past studies, but when it comes to attitudes about sex and marriage they are less racist, less sexist, and less heterosexist than the common population. Swinging appears to make the vast majority of swingers’ marriages happier, and swingers rate the gladness of their marriages and life satisfaction generally as higher than the non-swinging population.